Ding Dong, This is Awkward

The BBC is having a dilemma, Atlanticwire reports. Apparently, since the death of Margaret Thatcher (and not the death of Cher, who is still with us for now), a song has been rising on the British charts and on UK’s iTunes: “Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead.” It’s possible it will even hit Number One […]
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Eavesdropping: Home-improvement store, Elmwood Ave.

Me: I’m looking for a big fan I can use to dry a wet basement floor. Male employee (The Guy): I don’t think we have those here (in the building materials section). Try aisle 39. Me: Thanks (I turn around and walk toward aisle 39. The Guy is walking behind me, and is joined by […]
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Man Gobbles at Turkeys

He is, apparently, their new leader.

I Don’t Care Much About Your Plot, as Long as Your Characters are More Interesting than You, or, Why Tom Robbins is a Drag

Still on the subject of movies today, before I move on to how Tom Robbins disappointed me. First I have have to report that my wife has the ability to pick out the voice of actress Tea Leoni from the next room — a weird and impressive feat. I was sitting on the couch Sunday […]
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Michael Bay, Paid Per Explosion; M. Night Shyamalan is Slowly Vanishing

A Reddit user (“Mike-Dane”) calculated how much Michael Bay earns in profits-per-explosion: That’s about $3.2 million per explosion, Mike-Dane says. …He also tracked the quality of M. Night Shyamalan’s films over time (based on IMDB rating), an equally-steep slope going the other way: Incidentally, now that you know how much they are worth, here is […]
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Cliff Clavin on “Jeopardy!” Hubris, Tragedy

A friend of mine reminded me yesterday of one of my all-time-favorite television episodes: The episode of “Cheers” where Cliff Clavin appears on “Jeopardy!” From the point of view of writing, this works so well because the characters are just so well-understood and real — of course this is what would happen if Cliff got […]
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The Roger Ebert – Rob Schneider Episode

Much to read today about the beloved Roger Ebert.  I’m one of the many people who loved to read Ebert’s scathing reviews and I will also miss his thoughtful and humane blog. I want to remind people of the Rob Schneider episode, where Ebert issued a tour-de-force, Two-Thumbs-Up Face Slap to the “Deuce Bigelow” actor […]
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John Tesh is Still the Most Terrifying Man in America

Mostly this is because of his radio show that’s on every night and it’s also on in the same part of your brain that wonders what would happen if you just said “fucket, I’m turning my delivery truck into oncoming traffic RIGHTNOW RIGHTNOW,” is basically just a list of peoples’ phobias and things they feel inadequate about, […]
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Eavesdropping: Retirement Party, c. 1978

Jack: So, I was a young guy working there, and there was this other guy, what the hell was his name? Nowak. He was a Nowak. And why the hell can’t I remember his last name (takes a sip of Bailey’s on the rocks). Norby! He was Norby Nowak. He was a nice guy, older guy, […]
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Walgreen’s, Delaware Ave., Buffalo, March 19, 2013

I was in a hurry to pick The Boy up from daycare and stopped in for some DayQuil and a bottle of water. There were three people in line in front of me and I knew I should have just abandoned my purchases and left but I did not. The lady in front of me […]
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