Category Archives: Uncategorized

Outside the 7-11

    Two young men discuss either shoplifting technique or how to play “Boo!”* while squatting against the building:   “At the Rite Aid? My boy talk to the cashier, talk her up while I go in. She all distracted. Easy. Easy.”   *”Boo!” is my 11-month-old son’s favorite game. Rules — creep up slowly, […]
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A Brief Disturbance

Brief disturbance earlier at 5th and Jackson between superheroes and clowns. Everything's under control. #SeaMayDay — Seattle Police Dept. (@SeattlePD) May 1, 2013 This has to do with Seattle’s “real superhero” movement. Movement? Group? Club? Not sure.

Eavesdropping: Walgreen’s, Delaware Ave.

Man and woman employees, standing in front of the dairy case where I was trying to buy a half gallon of milk: Woman: I’ve said to the doctor, I need something stronger. Man: What did he tell you to take for it? Woman: He basically told me to take, the, you know, ibuprofen. That’s not […]
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Eavesdropping: Home-improvement store, Elmwood Ave.

Me: I’m looking for a big fan I can use to dry a wet basement floor. Male employee (The Guy): I don’t think we have those here (in the building materials section). Try aisle 39. Me: Thanks (I turn around and walk toward aisle 39. The Guy is walking behind me, and is joined by […]
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Man Gobbles at Turkeys

He is, apparently, their new leader.

The Roger Ebert – Rob Schneider Episode

Much to read today about the beloved Roger Ebert.  I’m one of the many people who loved to read Ebert’s scathing reviews and I will also miss his thoughtful and humane blog. I want to remind people of the Rob Schneider episode, where Ebert issued a tour-de-force, Two-Thumbs-Up Face Slap to the “Deuce Bigelow” actor […]
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John Tesh is Still the Most Terrifying Man in America

Mostly this is because of his radio show that’s on every night and it’s also on in the same part of your brain that wonders what would happen if you just said “fucket, I’m turning my delivery truck into oncoming traffic RIGHTNOW RIGHTNOW,” is basically just a list of peoples’ phobias and things they feel inadequate about, […]
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Eavesdropping: Retirement Party, c. 1978

Jack: So, I was a young guy working there, and there was this other guy, what the hell was his name? Nowak. He was a Nowak. And why the hell can’t I remember his last name (takes a sip of Bailey’s on the rocks). Norby! He was Norby Nowak. He was a nice guy, older guy, […]
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Walgreen’s, Delaware Ave., Buffalo, March 19, 2013

I was in a hurry to pick The Boy up from daycare and stopped in for some DayQuil and a bottle of water. There were three people in line in front of me and I knew I should have just abandoned my purchases and left but I did not. The lady in front of me […]
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